Winners and Losers

OK, y'all. To be a winner,

...look like this:


To be a loser, look like this:

aka, my favorite two pairs of shoes.

or, this:

oh, bathmat, we will be flailing without you

Winners are full of pride:

look, ma, no hands!

...while losers are left empty inside

uh-oh, looks like somebody's gonna be pooping bubblegum turds!

Winners do NOT look like this:

I thought only lizards were supposed to shed their tails. Not toy raccoons.

Winners, though, are sometimes also losers -

I've been a bad, bad girl. Also, I just blew a bubble out my behind.