Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I like my children more when they're somewhere else. That sounds harsh, doesn't it? But lately, it's true.

They are both being SO OBNOXIOUS, I can't stand to be near them half the time.

Patrick is being a TOTAL spaz, and has gotten into a habit of clearing his throat, which he now does all. the. time. He's done this before, and it will go away, but in the meantime it's driving me BANANAS. That in addition to his coughing, which still hasn't gone away despite his inhalers, makes for constant, predictable noise. Literally, every fifteen seconds or so, that boy either coughs, clears his throat, or makes some other grunting sound. I think that it's partly not his fault, and partly an attention-getting thing. (Actually, I'm nervous that he has my OCD, but that's another topic for another day.) Plus, he constantly is flailing around, dramatically throwing himself to the floor in fake surprise, flopping around on the couch, jumping on people, or bouncing up and down. Also, and this is the biggie, he nods his head and agrees to things I ask him to do, and completely DOES NOT DO THEM. In fact, it appears that he hasn't heard me AT ALL, and he is shocked when I ask him whether he's done xyz that I asked him to do. It might be easier for him to parse the requests if he didn't talk over me all the time, which they both have gotten back into the habit of doing. ARGH!!!!

Josie, for her part, is being a serious tween beyotch. She is SO MEAN to Patrick, I want to kill her with my heat vision (as soon as I get those damn superpowers I ordered from Amazon). She's not mean in a hitting way, more in an icy-cold, scathingly condescending way. He tells her something, she acts like it's the most inane thing she's ever heard, even when she knows full well what he's talking about. He hugs her, she just stands there and doesn't hug him back. It's so mean, it just kills me inside. My suggestion that it's shower day (every other day) launches her into full-scale warfare as to whether she took one yesterday, why she doesn't need one, etc., as though a five minute shower will make her skin just plain fall off. She will actually work herself up to near-tears within a minute or two, if you can believe it. If she wants something, she walks over to me, no matter what I'm doing, and stares at me until I ask her what she wants. Worst, if we're all playing a game, like Wii's Raving Rabbids TV Party (which is the funniest game EVER), and a minigame comes up that she doesn't like, she will patently refuse to play, and will sit with her arms crossed while the rest of us do our thing, sulking the whole time. ARGH!!!!!

Really, the thing about all of this that makes it unbearable is that it's SO. PREDICTABLE. I know exactly what's going to happen when I say it's time for a shower, or when I ask Patrick to get dressed. I know if I ask what kind of game people want to play, whoever answers second will purposefully demand to do the exact opposite of what the first person said. And, since these are the things I'm in charge of (read: everything), and the things I'm in charge of make up my entire day since I'm a SAHM, when they're around I am so frustrated and BORED. It's like Groundhog Day, with the same thing happening over and over and over again with no end in sight.

When they're not here, I can allow myself to forget these things, and remember only the fun things, or look forward to maybe playing a game during dinner. When I imagine in my mind things that we'll do, I see us all playing and laughing, and sometimes it really is that way. But, more often than not, the fighting and same-old-same-old things happen, and then not only am I bored and annoyed, but I'm sad and disappointed, too. I had children because I want a family, and a home where people love each other. I lived for so long with people who hated each other, and where there was so much unhappiness and strife. It breaks my heart sometimes to look around and wonder whether these two people, whom I love most in the world, will ever just stop and simply Be together.

I hope it's going to get better. I know there are people out there who have lost children, especially lately with all the poor internets we know, and they would give their teeth for what I have. I'm a selfish, selfish girl for wanting more than I already have. I know parenting is supposed to be hard, and maybe I'm being childish for complaining about the boredom and frustration of the everyday. I know that they're children, and that they'll assumedly mature and maybe even grow out of this. I know I'm lucky, and I love them more than I could ever have imagined.

But, for the moment, I like them most when they're somewhere else, because then I can just love them without all the static getting in the way.


Hotch Potchery said...

My daughter does the same consdescending thing to her brother...STILL. It drives me bezerk.

It is hard being a parent. HARD.

creative kerfuffle said...

omg i swear to god i could have written this almost word for word. the girl does the same thing to the boy, tween beyotch is right. and the shower thing? wtf is up w/ them and showers? in my house they even argue who has to take theirs first! like that 10 mins is going to make or break their night. this is making me very nervous about my new roll as a sahm (even if it is temporary). i too envisioned a shiney happy, loving family and want so badly for my kids to like each other and enjoy being together. hotch's statement that hers still do this when one is in hs and the other in college is too depressing for me. i was banking on mine growing out of this by then. crap.

Anonymous said...

Did your super powers come in extra strength too? Must check Amazon right away.

I so dread the tween years for this very reason. Well, and because I was just like this, if not worse, and I know karma is a bitch.

AndreAnna said...

I am not looking forward to this part of the older sister/younger brother thing because I KNOW Charlotte will be even worse. Sigh.

Hang in there.

Jill said...

my kids 7 (boy) and almost 10 (girl) get along way more than not(fingers,legs, eyes crossed, etc...)

she's a tomboy, they have a lot of common interests.

just a suggestion - we use odd/even days, on odd days like the first of the month she does everything first and he gets first pick on even days

we don't use it every day just on days that choices need to be made and sometimes it's great to be first - t.v. show, board game - and sometimes not so great - bath, shower, brush teeth.

good luck - did you get free shipping on the super powers, i might just check into that!

d e v a n said...

Well, static can be REALLY annoying!

Kristin.... said...

First, I want the heat vision. I mean, really, I have the LOOK, so the fire to go with it would kick a$$.
Second, it's school vacation week here, which means that there are lots of tears and annoying attitudes, especially today since my husband went back to work after being home for 5 days.
Things rarely come out the way I envision them. ANd it's truly sad.

desperate housewife said...

I remember pretty vividly there being a few years around the collective ages of eight through fourteen (my sisters and I are really close in age)when we drove my mom to tears pretty frequently with our bickering. She would always cry, "I never had siblings and I wanted so much to enjoy being in a REAL family! Why can't you girls just appreciate HAVING each other?!" And then, you know, we would feel like crap. For at least ten minutes. Then we were back to it.
But we're mostly growed up now and we don't yell and slap TOO much anymore, so there's light at the end of the tunnel.

Kristi said...

reading this makes me realize all the crap my sister and I put my mom through. we're close in age and we fought NONSTOP from the time I was 11 until 17. No lie. Like Jill mentioned, my parents had to make rules like odd/even days just to keep the peace. We physically fought so much that my mom, in a moment of total desperation, made the rule that we could fight all we wanted as long as no marks were left on eachother's faces. Seriously. Don't even get me started on the PMS times. Now we're super close, and all of the fighting seems so ridiculous!

And Kaeli is totally in the middle of a not listening phase. It's making me CRAZY. Honestly, I don't think she's doing it on purpose. I think she is just so easily distracted right now, that she truly forgets everything I said 2 minutes after I say it.

Stimey said...

I really like reading posts like this, because it makes me know that I am not alone. I love my kids soooooooo much. (They are out of the house at a museum with my husband right now.) When they get home and the oldest starts whining about how he never gets to do anything fun and the youngest makes me answer his questions all day and all night and the middle one makes me into his personal scribe for all the stories he needs to write, right now, and then they all demand ice cream and scream when they don't get it and then they play with the blinds with their feet, and...

Well, you get my point.