Why Don't Things Work Anymore?!

I give up. Why is it that things break constantly now, or simply don't do what they're advertised to do? And why, oh why, am I not even SURPRISED when this happens?!

Things that I have discovered do NOT work:

- the trigger thing sold at home repair and craft stores that is supposed to fix strings of lights (this seemed like it might work, since it's supposed to make the string forge a connection past any broken lights, but no)

- Christmas lights. Every year or two, they all break. This year, EVERY STRAND except one was busted. This may have something to do with the roughness of our movers, but STILL. When I was a kid, my mother insisted on throwing a giant garbage bag over the entire tabletop tree we had and tossing the whole thing in the basement year after year, and I don't remember ever having to replace the freakin' lights on it.

- Saran wrap, or any other kind of plastic wrap. The one exception to this that I have found is the press-n-seal kind, but other than that, it doesn't even seem to stick to itself anymore, never mind and dish or plates! The only thing it wants to stick to is ME. Damn crap.

- Any kind of cream for eye bags, circles, or puffiness. Nope. Maybe I am just perpetually exhausted-looking, but it's a common complaint - an online friend of mine was just complaining about this same thing the other day.

I'm sure that there are more things, but I can't remember what they are at the moment because my brain is also one of the things that used to work that doesn't anymore.

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One thing I want to mention - if any of you have a Five Below store near you, GO IN. They have everything from Wii accessories to socks in there, and it's all less than $5! I'm not kidding - books, including those huge fold-out books that are popular for kids at the moment, toys, games, legos, Xmas stuff, iPod stuff, sports play, everything. I actually don't feel all tense when I go in there like I do when I pop into other stores, like Target, where I can hardly ever escape without spending $100. I thought to post about this because Swistle has been talking about table books, and I've seen several of them there.