Friday, December 5, 2008

Fothermucking Fudpuckers! and associated angst


Surprise! The plumbing work we had done in October is NOT covered by AHS, there will be NO refund, and we have been running around the mulberry bush for two months to find it out!! Hooray and merry Christmas!!!!!

Yes, even though *one* person said that it was definitely covered, two more said that it was 'most likely' covered, there was in fact no chance at all that it actually was, because the pipe in question was inside the foundation of the house. Apparently, it's like renter's insurance - anything on or inside the place is covered, but anything outside or under is not. Sigh. You know, I probably wouldn't be this mad if 1) people had returned our phone calls and not forced us to constantly call them, 2) there was actually an account manager assigned to certain accounts, rather than just having anyone talk about any account, so there was continuity in response and so that we wouldn't have to go through the entire story every. freakin'. time. we called, 3) if the plumber had actually done what he was supposed to do in the first place, which was call AHS *before* the work was done once they realized that the job didn't entail what they had originally thought, 4) if the plumber himself had ever, even once, called AHS to talk to them (the only reason we got a decision today was because DH finally was transferred to an adjuster, to whom he faxed photos of the work that I had taken), because the only people who called AHS from the plumber's office were secretaries who had never seen the job and who told them random information, like the work was done in the yard (?!?!) .

(Pant, pant, pant. Ranting takes a lot out of a person, particularly when that person's keyboard has a heavy dog ball dropped on it every thirty seconds so half the line has to be retyped. Person should sit at a table in the future.)

So, we are out $3600. Ho, ho, ho. Please send vodka. I apparently can't afford my own anymore, but I desperately need A LOT of it!

In other news, I also got a bill today from the quack doctor who misdiagnosed my gall bladder issue as reflux for a year. His office actually had the gall (haha! I'm so clever!) to bill DH and I for missed appointments (which I had most certainly CANCELLED, thank you, as soon as I got out of the HOSPITAL, HELLLO), to the tune of $50! Um, no. I had ignored the bill for DH's 'missed visit', but yesterday another one came, and today one for me came. Apparently, whoever I called to cancel our membership (or whatever it's called) in his practice didn't cancel our six-month pill-pushing well visits that had been scheduled. I seethed for awhile, and then decided that it was high time for me to exorcise my demons on this issue. SO, I got out paper and pen, and wrote a long letter saying that I knew I had cancelled our appointments on July 10th, because that was the day after I was released from the hospital after being admitted with near-pancreatic failure due to his incompetance, and that I had withdrawn from their practice because not only did he misdiagnose me for a year, but when he finally showed up at the hospital, he admitted to me that he didn't have my chart, had no idea who I was, and didn't know why I was there! But then, I told them, I wasn't surprised, since he had tried to tell DH that he wasn't diabetic when he has been for TEN YEARS, and had never once been prepared for an office visit with my name and condition. Since I was on a roll, I told them that it would be a cold day in hell when I paid these two bills, and that while I had been advised by the doctor on-call that day to contact the state medical board, I had not, although I probably should have. SO THERE. I have never written a letter like that, but then again, I have been fortunate enough to never have been half-killed by a doctor before, either. I wonder if they'll have the nerve to respond? Because if they do, I will TOTALLY go to the state medical board. Writing it made me feel like the Grinch whose balls grew two sizes today, so hell, bring it on! I've got cohones now!

(for those of you who don't know, fudpucker is the mixed-up way I now have to say Pudfucker, which is a common New England swear, so I can still use it in front of the kids. It's the best swear word, EVER. Try it - it's both funny AND expressive! as in, 'you stupid pudfucker!' -or- 'oh, pudfucker!' -or, if you should drop a waterbarrel, ahem, on your toe, yelling 'PUDFUCKING BARREL!!!!' is definitely appropriate. See, it works in every situation!)


creative kerfuffle said...

i love the title and may no very well have to start using pudfucker. what's the back story on that word anyway?
and--OMFG on the AHS shit. srsly? can't you call the BBB or state's attny general's office or something? because that just seems fraudulent.
and hooray for you on writing the letter to that whack job dr. i can't even believe they sent you a letter for that! SHEESH.
i actually have this set of tiny little vodka bottles i could send you : )

Swistle said...


Cherish said...

My doctor misdiagnosed my gall bladder issues for ever too! I eventually figured it out on my own three years later and asked my new doctor about it. I had it out in no time after that. My doctor had the nerve to tell me that it was just gas and that I should get out and walk more when I had one of those 'attacks.' Never mind the fact that I could barely stand during one of them!

Your talk of pudfuckers made me laugh, which is something I really needed to do today. Thanks

Kristin.... said...

Fudpucker. LOVE it.

Call BBB about AHS. File a complaint. See what happens.

And you go girl~send that letter out to the doctor. What a quack!

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

Love fudpucker! Will have to try it out. You definitely need a lot of vodka.

Stimey said...

I love that you wrote the letter. I bet it was very satisfying. And I LOVE learning new curse words.

Kristi said...

What a not awesome day! Kudos on writing that letter.

I'm totally using pudfucker from now on!!

AndreAnna said...

Ugh, sounds like you're with the rest of ther world in this Cosmic Week of Suckassedness.

Re: gallbladder issues: When I was in the hospital for the third time for uncontrolled stomach pain, vomiting, passing out, and they tried to send me home again b/c the CT scan was clear and my pain was in the center of my stomach and not to the right (so they assumed "gastritis/reflux"), my MIL of all people called and said "She has a BABY at home and her husband is traveling in IRAQ. You WILL NOT send her home until you figure out what is wrong." They did another nuclear scan and found that there were stones but they were lodged in the duct to my stomach. Awe. Some.

Like I'd make up severe stomach pain and puking and passing out home alone with a 9 month old.

Long story short, it's out, but I spent 5 days in the hospital when in theory it should have been an out patient procedure.

I feel ya. Good for you writing that letter.

Kelsey said...

I'm totally behind on the reading and commenting just about everywhere, but I had to come by today and tell you some good news. . .

I mean, it's not vodka (sorry) or $4,000 but you did win my holiday music contest!

Small yay?

I will contact you soon (later today?) for some quick music preference questions and your address.

Sherendipity said...

Congratulations on your cohones acquirement!! You go, girl!

Rebecca said...

Oh my goodness!! I can't believe how many times the doctor screwed up! I hope you found someone competent!!