Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Hey, I'm Rich!

Well, everyone, it's been nice knowing you, but I've apparently won the lottery in not one, not two, but FOUR different countries! I know, right?! What are the odds??? I have won pounds, de niro, and whatever currency exists in Zimbabwe! I've won money that I don't even know what it's called! WOW!

I have proof, too, right here in my email. Many people are emailing me these days, detailing how easy it will be for me to collect these monies from these lotteries I don't remember entering (mental note: start taking Ginko, because my memory is apparently shot). All I need to do is reply, in Secret, of course, because we wouldn't want anyone stealing my internet winnings, to these people, one of whom is a Sultan, for heaven's sake, and tell them where to put the cash. There's only a small fee, so there's no problem, my friend.

Yeah, right.

Who are these people, and why are they emailing me?!?! I mean, it's non-stop these days!!! I am literally winning a lottery a DAY. I am the richest, most secretive winner EVER, apparently. I can't believe that anyone would ever respond to these poorly-written, grammatically-incorrect little notices, no matter who they say they're from.

Typically, these things target the elderly more than anyone. Does this mean I'm getting old? I mean, I'm almost 35. Only a few more days. Holy crap, maybe that's why I can't remember entering these lotteries!!! Maybe there is something to this, after all, then?! Hold on, let me get out my reading glasses and have another look at these emails....


Kristi said...

too funny!

you have such good luck...i never get lottery winning emails!!!

Rebecca said...

That is too funny! I get these all the time too. I don't understand who would fall for it either. Great post!

Susiewearsthepants said...

If that's the case I'm on my way to becoming old too. I haven't gotten one of those lately, but someone hacked into my computer and stole my bank card number and used it to make internet purchases.