Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Brother- and Sister-In-Law For Sale, CHEAP

Actually, I will PAY you to take them away.

I forwarded my friends an email that I got the other day that had photos of marbles and other ball shapes showing the relative size of the Earth to other planets in our galaxy, our galaxy's planets to our sun, our sun to other suns, and our universe to other universes. The photos were really cool, and Josie loved them. So, I forwarded the email on.

The email had some writing down at the bottom about how now that you've seen these images, how big are your problems in relation, and there was some tagline at the bottom about how big is your God, because it came from a guy on the choir. I didn't really think twice about forwarding it on to people, because it was cool, and all the people in the family have been involved at one time or another with NASA or a similar government agency.

Today, I got an email from my BIL and SIL, Kathy and Shawn, in response. I thought, oh, cool, we never hear from them (as I have said before about them). yeah. No.

It started with that we are stupid for believing anything of the sort, that we are sheep who do not think rationally. Two screens later, after similar comments, it ended with this:

"BTW - If this offends you, that's unfortunate. I've often found when people discuss religion, the more they're interested in relating their views, the less interested they are in hearing someone else's.

If you want to keep in touch, we're game and I won't judge. I don't have to understand your beliefs any more than you need to understand mine. It's up to you if you can deal with that. We're fine either way.

Have a nice day.

Shawn & Kathy (yes, we both read it before sending it.)"

These are the people that I made those carseat covers for. The ones who never show up at family events, but always expect people to come to theirs. I responded by asking if that's what they really meant, that they would be fine with not talking again over an EMAIL, and if after twelve years, that's what they really thought of me and our family.

I have gotten no response.

I know they are looking for somewhere to dump whatever anger they feel over their loss of Ryan, and I was a convenient place to do so, since I sent them an email, but a simple 'we don't like forwards' would have sufficed. Ranting about how we're stupid and can take them or leave them, and then telling me to have a nice day, was grossly inappropriate. It tells me that all they have inside is anger and hatred, and that I need to adjust my expectations accordingly. The way Shawn snapped at our kids the last time we saw them, and his angry outbursts at other times as well, and now this, point to the fact that he is not someone I feel like having around me or my children. It's not like they acknowledge our family birthdays or anniversaries, anyway.

If they do not write back and give some reason, some apology, I will never have anything to do with them again. I know they are family, and I have tried all these years to maintain a relationship with them, but this is, seriously, IT. All I did was send them photos, for chrissakes, and I even said at the top of the forward that the email was great pictures. ARGH. We have never, ever discussed anything to do with religion with them, not even once. We don't talk about it outside church, unless we're with other people that go there. For the sake of my MIL, I will suck it up at holidays, should they ever decide to attend, but that's it. I'm done. There's no point in me continually putting forth efforts when the one time they send me an email longer than two words, it's this.


AndreAnna said...

GEEZ!! You have more friend and family drama in one week than I have my WHOLE life. I feel so badly for you! You seem so genuinely kind and nice and this was so uncalled for.

It wasn't like you sent the froward and stuffed religious propaganda down their throat.

I'm an agnostic and I get like 8 forwards a day from older friends and relatives about God and Jesus all the time. It does't offend me because it's not like they're saying MY GOD ROCKS. YOU SUCK FOR NOT BELIEVING. They're merely sending pictures of kittens asleep on a computer or a dog driving a car for Pete's sake (who the heck is Pete anyway?)

I'd write them off. Unless he writes back with these specific words:

"Dear Sis.

I'm sorry for being a sanctimonious douche nozzle. "

Anonymous said...

Geez. This is not your week for emails, is it? Sorry!

LoriD said...

They do seem a little... off. How does your husband feel about cutting them out?

Hotch Potchery said...

I need to see the marble pics to decide if I think that you are trying to make their deity cry.

Hotch Potchery said...

My comment may have come across like I wasn't on your side. I was being facetious, but that doesn't always work well via the web.

Swistle said...

That really sounds like they...overreacted. I wonder what the deal is?

I'm non-religious with a religious family, and what I've found is that religious talk can be a baffling minefield. Things my mom thinks are totally neutral to say, I find LOADED with religious meaning; things I find totally neutral to say, she finds LOADED with religious meaning.

But in this case, all you did was send a forward. I don't like forwards with religious stuff in them, but I don't REACT to them, any more than I react to the ones that tell me I have to forward it to ten friends or I'll be cursed. I just...ignore it.

Their "Have a nice day" ending is kind of the clincher: that is such an awful way to end it, they either know that or they don't, and either way is bad!

Kristin.... said...

Wow. They were certainly having a bad day. That seems highly suspect to me. Family stuff really stinks. I hope they get their act together.

Kristi said...

omg. overreact much? i can't believe they had such a volatile reaction to an email forward.they just seem like angry unhappy people. I'd write them off too. unless of course they email back with AndreAnna's exact words!

desperate housewife said...

All I can think is that they have deep bitterness and anger over the untimely loss of their son, that much of it is aimed at a God that they may have once at least vaguely believed in, and this email somehow hit a very wounded, very spot in both of them. I completely and totally get your fury, but after reading their response, it's pretty clear they're not in a rational place. I think it's certainly fine to keep contact to a minimum, but honestly, these two sound like they deserve pity more than anger. What you did was so OBVIOUSLY benign and their reaction was just so CRAZY.

Elizabeth Channel said...


That's just erghy in so many ways...

I could blather on and on about my ex-sister-in-law who lost her job at the great Christian school my nephew was attending because she refused to stop having an affair with the married father of one of her Pre-K students and how her plan now is surrogate motherhood as a career. But that wouldn't make you feel any better. It's just something I can't talk about on my blog but still think is a tad troubling.


creative kerfuffle said...

omg. not to make you paranoid or anything, but is something slowly eating away at the brain matter of the people you've had contact w/ this week? i can understand them being angry at god for the loss of their son, but to react that way to an email is really insane. the tone, the snarkiness? really? i don't blame you for cutting them off at this point. i would have after the carseat fiasco. what does dh have to say about all of this?
oh--and i awardified you : )

Anonymous said...

That seems like a really strong and inappropriate reaction from them over an email! I mean, I'm not particularly religious, but if I did get an email that I felt was preaching to me, I'd just exit out of it and move on... I certainly wouldn't make a huge deal about it! I wonder what caused them to blow up like that?

Erin said...

OUCH. This seems like a gross overreaction to me too. To react to a forward email that way? Seems like there HAS to be something else going on, but perhaps that's just making excuses for them.

Susiewearsthepants said...

As Stephanie from Full House used to say...HOW RUDE!!!!!