Friday, March 20, 2009

Choices, Choices...

Swistle's Wii Fit's comment to her today was that she should have sugar and protein after a workout. First of all, I think I want to bring MINE back to the store and get whatever model SHE has, since mine is a hard-ass. Second of all, mine would never suggest such a thing anyway, since I have (sigh) gained a little weight this week. In all fairness, I think I didn't actually *gain* weight; it's more that I think that the adjustment they make for clothes is a little off. I mean, who works out in 4lbs of clothes? Then, the thing has the nerve to ask me WHY I gained weight since the last time, and it gives me a few choices to pick from as an answer, like overeating, nighttime snacking, etc. THEN, it makes a suggestion on what I should do.

Well, I have a few comments for Ms. Wii Fit. She needs to offer more reasonable choices. My personal picks would be as follows:

Additional choices Wii Fit should provide / ask, and corresponding suggestions:

1. Have you pooped recently? Pooping can reduce body weight by several pounds. Try a laxative.

2. Are you, or are you about to be, on The Rag? Hormones, and their resulting food binges, can make youre weight fluctuate by the approximate weight of a Volkswagon.

3. Did your partner do the shopping this week? Never let your partner go to the grocery store, it can cause you to gain as much as twice your husband's weight.

4. Is it raining / snowing / hailing locusts outside? This can result in hibernation-related weight gain. Move to Hawaii.

5. Did you read Swistle's blog today? Looking at photos of other people's yummy foods online can cause you to gain an amount of weight that is proportional to the weight of your computer. Run / waddle away.

6. Were you depressed by my calling you Obese? Depression causes eating which causes weight gain. Stop being obese.

There, that should about do it. Any other suggestions?

10 comments:

Swistle said...

I HATE when mine asks me in that condescending tone to choose a REASON why I'm gaining weight! It makes me feel so sullen!

I fixed mine, though: I set my "goal" as gaining five pounds in the next two months. Now when I go up a little, it tells me I'm making great progress toward my goal.

Swistle said...

Er, that's not why it said I should have sugar/protein, though. THAT, it said, is to help build muscles. It was one of the "Do you want to hear a fitness tip today?" tips.

AndreAnna said...

If it makes you feel any better, somehow I've gained SIX pounds this week. I thought the scale was broken, so I found my old one and yes, I apparently did something way wrong. You know, like eat a pygmy. WTF? Stupid period.

d e v a n said...

urgh. I need to visit my Wii Fit. She isn't very nice though...
What I hate is the sound it makes when I step on, like it's moaning in pain. aaaah

desperate housewife said...

I am not feeling inclined to jump on the Wii Fit bandwagon. At least at the Y the machines can't talk back to you!

Kelsey said...

I think your alternate choices are excellent!

Not Your Aunt Bea said...

Okay. We tried the wii fit and it didn't really do much. I don't think we used it right because it didn't talk to me and I NEED someone to talk to me (but maybe with not so much attitude). Maybe next time I will read the instructions as the wii fit is all the rave and it seems that I missed that part.

Chantal said...

LOL I have to get back on my Wii Fit. I haven't been using it enough. A friend of mine suggested I change to a male trainer. Maybe those comments would be easier to take coming from a man. But then, probably not. Stupid computer!

Kristi said...

My Wii Fit is a BIOTCH!

Does anyone else's make a GRUNTING sound everytime you STEP ON IT? Plus, Kaeli and Rob's Miis are all skinny and perfect, but mine is a touch rounder. How discouraging!

Elizabeth Channel said...

Don't talk to me about food or the Wii fit. All I've had today is two Lean shakes and a dose of Night Time cold medicine. If I don't lose weight from this, I'm giving up! I'm two weeks into this deal and have only lost two pounds.