We have yet to get word from Ryan's father. We know he knows there's a problem, because the note I taped to his door on Sunday ('Please call us. It's about Ryan. We need to talk about what he did to Patrick's hamster.') is gone, but there has been no response. DH and I walked up there three times last night, and there was no answer at the door, and the lights appeared to be off, although he could still have been in there hiding out. He can be kind of childish, so that wouldn't surprise me too much. My hope is that he wasn't home yesterday evening because he drove down to Ryan's mom's house to have a talk with them. I'm taking this as a sign that, at the very least, he knows Ryan has done something serious this time, and is embarrassed to talk to us about it.
What should I do? Let it go for awhile, and wait and see, or continue to go up there frequently until we get him? It's pretty obvious that he doesn't want to talk about it with us at the moment. With any luck, Ryan will have been honest with him about what he did, if they've talked. I mean, it's not like he can just move away, so we'll see him eventually, although I would prefer to speak to him before Friday, when Ryan comes back. I do not want that boy showing up on our doorstep, because it's probably one of those conversations that I would rehash forever in my mind, whether I overdid it or held my tongue. On the other hand, since I don't know what his parents will have said to him, maybe it would be best if he *did* show up here and I talked to him, to make sure he understands the severity of what he's done and how much he has upset people. Also, it would be appropriate for him to apologize, although I'm not sure he actually would, since even for lesser things he would rarely do more than mutter.
My other option is to leave another note on Dave's door, explaining exactly what happened, and letting him know that Ryan will no longer be welcome in our home. I really want to say to him that we think he could use some counseling, either from the school or otherwise, but that might come across badly in a letter. On the other hand, maybe I don't care so much how it comes across.
Either way, I am at least no longer feeling sick over it. I literally was so upset that I was close to vomiting for a long time. I feel a lot more calm, like something awful has happened, and it's time to move on. I suppose that's one good thing about being so awfully upset - it burns through fairly quickly.
2 months ago