Sunday, August 10, 2008

Your WHAT?!

This morning I was getting ready in the bathroom, doing my hair (which basically consists of throwing in some little hair clips and getting it off of my face), when in busts Patrick, who was, of course, butt naked. He wanted to use the toilet, thank you very much. Whatever.

Let me interject here that Naked Boy Summer Buns are the cutest things in the world. He's tan all over, really, really tan (yes, I use sunscreen, but there's only so much a mama can do - hell, at least neither of my kids have had any burns, unlike the constant state of peeling I was in at their ages), except his buns are snow white. They almost glow in the dark. It's so funny! When he runs down the hall they look like little jiggling moons!

Anyway, the boy sat down, because it was Poop Time, don't you know. I was still standing in there, with my back to him, but I could see him some in the mirror, and he was saying something to me, so I turned off the blow dryer and asked him what he said.

Me: 'What?'
Him: 'I have to go poop AND pee, I said!!!'

We have never, ever said 'pee'. We are a 'tinkle' family. Mommy Tinkle, Daddy Tinkle, and the Two Little Tinkles.

Me: 'Pee?!'
Him, speaking slowly like I'm a idiot: 'Yeah, you know, TINKLE, like what's on my BALLS, see?!'

!!!!!!!! Balls !!!!!!!!

We are not a 'balls' family. We are a 'little ballies', 'package', or MAYBE 'faucet' family. My baby does NOT have balls! Balls are gross, hairy, messy things that my sweet, sweet baby does not even come CLOSE to having!!!!! EEEEUUUUWWWWWW!!! Who on earth taught my baby to say BALLS?! Gak!

I realize that all sorts of things are going to be coming out of his mouth now that he'll be going to big kid school and being with lots of other kids, who have lots of older siblings. In fact, I'm sure he probably got that little phrase from one of the older neighborhood kids. HOWEVER, until school starts, I want to float along on de Nile river and pretend that my baby will be unsullied by bad language or rude gestures. Or, talk about his BALLS. Even the idea makes me giggle, and then throw up in my mouth a little. Eeeuuuw.


AndreAnna said...

Because Mike and I both come from mothers who are nurses, we always learned and spoke of everything very technical. So we teach our children the same. BUT it is HYSTERICAL to hear a two year old talk about her "pachina" or her brothers "testables"

d e v a n said...

d said he found his JEWELS the other day. I almost fell on the floor. WHERE did he hear that?!

Kristin.... said...

Bahhahha! Drew also runs around naked. Those tan arms and legs and the little naked butt are quite cute. But geez I wish he'd learn to be modest!

Swistle said...


Susiewearsthepants said...

Oh God! The horror. That would be akin to Keri telling me her tits are growing. Oh Lord, I'm hyperventilating just thinking about it.

Creative Kerfuffle said...

ok, almost peed (tinkled) my pants over this one. i think the lack of modesty is a boy thing. my boy (almost 9) thinks nothing of being nude or leaving the door open in the bathroom etc. and i love untanned butts too--so very cute.
when my kids were very little and all body parts below their waist were boo-boos (thanks to daycare) i gave them the words penis and vagina and butt. they've added their own terms by now, and yes, they say balls. ugh.