Diet, Take 523

A couple of weeks ago, I started going to the gym again. I had seriously gotten out of the habit when we moved here about a year and a half ago because a good part of the reason I had liked my old gym so much was that I knew I was always going to run into someone I knew there. New place = no friends at the gym = no motivation to go. No one asking me where I had been when I didn't go for a few days, no familiar faces next to me on the treadmill, etc. So, I fell off the wagon, and that's one mighty fast wagon, because by the time I looked around, it was long out of sight, so I just sat myself right down and ate a pint of Ben and Jerry's instead. Unfortunately, that, in addition to various other issues, led me to gain about 40 lbs. Yeah. It's not so pretty.

I never had a hard time losing weight when I was younger, but for the past two years I've been on Zoloft for my OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and that has put my metabolism essentially in reverse; the only way the numbers on the scale go these days is UP. Also, whenever I try to exercise, I tend to gain weight, too! I think it's a combination between my gaining muscle very quickly and the fact that working out makes me SOOOOOO hungry!!! I'm probably eating more and not realizing it.

In an effort to deal with 1) the largess of my ass and 2) the fact that even my FAT is stubborn, I actually purchased things in the dieting aisle of the grocery store today. Typically, I stare at them for a long time, waffle, and then lose my nerve. This time, I actually got some things. First, I bought some SlimFast, which I've never actually used before, and I'm going to try having that as my early-morning breakfast, since I'm usually in a hurry to get the kids ready for school and it will save me some time. Also, I typically head to the gym after I drop Patrick off at prek, and having a regular breakfast in my stomach can be kind of a pain, but I want to have *something*. Then, I got some Luna bars, which I have loved since I did the Avon walk a few years ago (you carry protein bars with you at all times on those walks, pretty much), to have in the car to eat when I leave the gym, since I get hungry pretty soon after I'm done, but that's when I typically run any errands in the remaining hour and some I have before I have to go back to the prek, and I have a bad habit of getting snacks while I'm out because I'm too hungry to wait until I'm at home. Then, of course, I flagellate myself about the head because I've just ruined my workout calorie burn! Finally, I got some appetite control tablets that dissolve in a water bottle, DetriMax, I think, or something like that, that make the water berry flavored. I figure, if nothing else, I'll be drinking a bottle of water, which is at least good for me.

So, that's my deal. I've done really well today, no slip-ups at all. I would love to lose two pounds a week, but really would take anything I can get. It's not so much about the numbers for me, really; I just want to be more comfortable this summer in the heat than I was last year. I've never cared for summer, but carrying this extra weight around makes it even more unbearable, especially when I want to play with the kids and work in my garden.