Sunday, May 18, 2008

No Touchie Ma Stuffie

I am beginning to believe that inanimate object have thoughts and feelings.

Every time my husband touches something of mine, it breaks. My laptop HATES him. Every time he installs anything on my machine, adjusts settings, adds hardware, you name it, inevitably the laptop will refuse to function reliably for at least a week. He can do things to his own computers, including his Mac, and everything's fine.

Today, he went to take Josie to a birthday party while I was out, and my car wouldn't start. The battery is completely dead, and the car is doing the seizure thing (locks locking and unlocking, and making a ticking noise) that it did the last time the battery died years ago. There was no warning this time, and I myself drove the thing earlier all around just fine. No, it wasn't until he got behind the wheel without me around that the thing froze up and starting kibbitzing all over the place.

Maybe my Estro-power is at such a high level that all my things have changed polarity, and testosterone messes with their balance. I do have my period this week - maybe my car is on the rag, too! Maybe man-smell makes my computer pass out. Maybe my car doesn't like Boy Butt. I don't know, but it's getting a little ridiculous. Does anyone else have this problem?! (Or the opposite?)


Creative Kerfuffle said...

ROFL--estro-power! i love that. i don't have this problem, but god, the way you describe it is hilarious.

Swistle said...

I've noticed that Paul seems to have The Disappearing Touch: if he uses the tape, the pencil sharpener, the permanent marker, the ruler, the string---they vanish. Unfortunately, the children seem to have inherited this gene.

Kristin.... said...

Oh yes, Doug has what Paul is afflicted with. It's awful. He did break my last digital camera, so he's only allowed to touch my current camera with express written permission.