Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Ahhhh... Grandparents

This past weekend, the kids' grandparents (DH's parents) came up to see us (they live about 90min away) and go to Patrick's soccer game and, later in the afternoon, Josie's piano recital. What great grandparents, right? Don't get too excited - they only came because they were already going to DH's sister's house, which is halfway between their house and ours, and so they 'figured they might as well come up here, too, since they were up here anyway'. Gee, thanks. Don't hurt yourselves or anything.

This has always been a bone of contention with me, and lately with DH's other sister as well. There is obvious favoritism for DH's older sister, Kate, and her kids, who were the first-born grandchildren. When the twins were young, Linda literally spent days at a time with them, and had them to the house for weeks during the summer. They have always dropped everything to do things with them, like take them to movies or whatnot. So, when Josie was born, we thought it would be the same with her, right?


Although we only lived about five minutes from their house until a year ago, not once did they call and ask to see the kids, or take them anywhere, or lord forbid, have them overnight. Even when Patrick was born, they only would keep Josie overnight once, and DH ended up going to get her first thing in the morning. Patrick has seen, if possible, even less interest. DH's other sister, Jen, thought we were nuts until she had her own kids, and the same thing happened.

Now, it's not that I expect miracles - after all, they are older now than when the twins were born, so it's completely understandable that they would want less activity in their lives. However, it's the lack of similar enthusiasm that's annoying. I guess it's the 'first grandchild' thing. I'm relieved that we now live farther away, because now that we don't see them as often, the kids are less likely to notice the difference. Like, being having them come to your special events because they were in the neighborhood seeing other people anyway. Yeah.

However, they still win the grandparent of the year award in one way - they haven't taught any swears to the kids.

Yesterday, I was playing a word game with the kids, called Banana Words, where you take 21 tiles and then make as many words as you can in crossword puzzle fashion (like a bunch of bananas, I guess). When the time was up, Josie announced that she had made seven words - no, for, go, run, even, cat, and damit. I almost fell over! She announced them just like that, blah blah blah, not even thinking she's written a Word. Here is the ensuing conversation:

Me: "Wait, what was that last one?"
Josie, surprised, "Damit. What?"
Patrick: "What's damit?" (and I'm thinking, Great! Now the 5yo has it, too!)
Me: "Where did you hear that word?"
Josie: "Nana said it a lot. It means darn, right?"

Thank you, Nana, for teaching my kids to swear.

So, I explained that there are adult clothes, adult TV shows, adult foods, and adult words, and that that's one of them (I know she spelled it wrong, but still). There are kid foods, kid clothes, kid shows, and kid words, which do not include adult words. They seemed satisfied with this, and the conversation stopped.

Jesus Christ, can't I even teach my own goddamn kids to fucking swear?! (Or, in kid language, holy cannoli, I'll teach my own poopyheaded kids to snarklefurg swear, thank you!)


Seriously, though. Jeeze.


Kristin.... said...

Oh holy crap! I had to stop laughing because I am on the phone with AT&T. :)

My kids have two sets of grandparents that live locally. There are times where it seems that they're too busy for their grandkids and it really annoys me. My grandparents lived 4 states away when I was a kid and I literally only saw them 3 or 4 times a year. So the fact that my kids have their grandparents so close by should mean constant visits with them. Unfortunately, that isn't the case and it makes me sad. My kids even have an aunt, uncle and cousins nearby that we don't often see. I NEVER had that growing up~no family in the state~and I wish my kids had more opportunities to spend time with their family.

AndreAnna said...

My husband's parents live only about 20 minutes way and hardly ever see my kid, their only grandchild. They are too busy with work or other stuff to care. I don't know how they raised a wonderful, warm man, when they are cold and distant.

But I figure it's just as well.

Swistle said...

Ha ha! Rob said "Oh my GAWD" the other day, and he's also said "Holy crap." I was like, "Um, those aren't SWEARS per se, but you're not old enough to make the decision to say them."

desperate housewife said...

At least you can take comfort it wasn't you who taught them. Nothing is more shaming than having your angelic looking little toddler spill her milk and exclaim in a sweet lisp, "Oh, shit!"

Creative Kerfuffle said...

my kids got screwed in the grandparent dept. too. my folks live locally and pay little attention to my kids or my brother's kids but are all about my sister's kids. their excuse is that she's a single mom (mmmm, because she made bad choices not because she's divorced or widowed or anything) so she needs them. fortunately my family and my brother's family are close so they do have some family ties.