Funky Town

Man, am I in a Funk.

I don't mean, as in 'funky'. I would love to be funky, it sounds fun and happy and, dare I say, hip. But funky is something I am DEFINITELY not.

These past few days, I have barely been able to function and participate in society in a remotely positive manner. The poor kids, I'm trying not to just freak out on them, but unfortunately, if you look up 'being in a funk' in the dictionary, I'm pretty sure you don't see a parenting award sticker placed next to it. I think it's more like a warning label. Or maybe one of those Mr. Ick stickers.

I'm not quite sure what's even wrong with me, to tell you the truth. Maybe it's the fact that I just had my period, and I figured out that I still have at least ten more years of the friggin thing, which calculates out to being something like 600 days o' cramps. O. M. G. That's a LOT of zits that are coming my way. (Why am I still getting zits?! It was a cruel joke played upon us all that acne stops when you're a grown-up!)

Maybe it's that I'm getting that in-between feeling that I always get when we're about to move, kind of like I don't really belong Here anymore, but There isn't home yet, either. I'm not upset about moving anymore, and actually I'm kind of looking forward to it, but it's still unsettling enough to endorse a Funk, I suppose.

Not to mention, this morning, I was pinned in my driveway for two solid cycles of the stoplight that's near our house, because everyone in town seemed to have a burning need to hurry up and wait at the light rather than let me out of my house. Nothing inspires the Crazy Lady in me more than sitting in my driveway watching some Drama Queen yak on the phone and pretend not to see me watching her in my rearview mirror! Watching isn't really the word... plotting her demise is more like it. When that happens, I have a total Ally McBeal moment and imagine myself slamming into reverse and WHAM! Cell phone is permanently lodged in her ear! (Hell, she should be grateful - it would get her hands-free, after all.)

I also think that Funkiness is something you can catch, and in turn pass on. I've been noticing that there seem to be a lot of Funkified people out there lately, so I probably got contaminated somehow, like while standing in line at the library (has anyone else noticed that the vast preponderance of librarians seem to really not like kids, or even people, all that much? What is that?!!!) listening to the woman at the desk hiss at some poor kid who was talking to his sister too loudly.

I'm doing a lot of reading and video game playing to try and trick myself out of all this, but really I think it all comes down to a Vitamin D deficiency, the kind that can only be fixed by the S-U-N. I thought I was going to like this early clock change bit, but so far all it's done is show me more of the cold daytime I can't go out and enjoy!