Sunday, November 15, 2009

You Got It!

I *was* thinking of Nemo in my last post, but CK pointed out to me that it's also in Jaws, and now I'm not sure which is more appropriate!

I just got my last recommendation via email; I finished the rest of the porfolio this afternoon, so once I do a page for this one, I'll be completely done! I'm probably going to do it tonight so I can drop it off in the morning. Thank heavens, because this has been a HUGE load on my mind. Now all I have to do is get through the interview on Wed, and it will all be out of my hands. I think it's funny how interesting and wonderful a person can look on paper. I'm nothing really out of the ordinary, but on paper I look pretty good! :)

The last rec that came today, though, makes me a little squeeged inside. It was from a friend of mine, who is also the mother of Josie's best friend. I work with her at the school, to, and have subbed*for* her with one of my favorite kids, an autistic boy named A. Anyway, it's taken her forever to get me this letter, in which I was hoping that she would mention how I've worked for her, and been with A, since I talk about how I have really liked working with the special ed kids - it was why I asked her to write one for me in the first place. She didn't mention any of that, but that's OK.

What makes me feel all twisted up inside is that I ended up posting quiet hints to her twice on FB to get her to give it to me, like 'hooray, I'm all done except for one page, time to get back to worrying about trig!', that kind of thing. About an hour after I posted that (the second quiet prod in about a week), her letter came over email, and now I feel like I had to 1)drag it out of her, and 2) she didn't really want to do it in the first place, but just felt like she had to do it since we're kind of intertwined in all these areas. So, I feel hugely embarrassed and twisted up inside that I asked her to do it, that I ended up pestering her a little, and that it was kind of obvious that she wasn't sure what to say. I hate asking for help; it makes me feel like I'm making a bother of myself, and when I get the feeling that I'm dragging that help out of someone, it makes it 100x worse. Crap. I really like her, and I feel like I've made an ass of myself.

BUT, at least it's almost done. Math is kicking my ass at the moment, and I'm really scared that I'm going to blow the chapter exam next week. I have a quiz this week, but they're only worth ten points apiece in the grand scheme of the class, so it I mess it up, it's not a huge deal; if I can't get a hang of the whole thing in time for the exam, though, I'm going to be in trouble. Each problem has so many parts, and so many sign changes and square roots, that there are about ten ways to mess up on each section of the problem. Ugh. Only one more month, and I can't wait. No more math, EVER AGAIN, in just 32 days and counting.


creative kerfuffle said...

i know you are relieved to have this done! as for the recommendation, i think even if you had to remind her it's ok. she could have just said no, she didn't feel comfortable giving you a rec right? maybe she's just a procrastinator : )

AndreAnna said...

That has to be a relief to have it all done!! Good luck!

Swistle said...

I'm SURE not, I'm sure it's just that writing those things is a matter of, like, sitting down and DOING IT so she put it off like we all put off stuff like that, and then some people are not very good at figuring out what would be the right thing to say and then SAYING IT, so she did kind of a poor job at it, that's all---nothing reflecting on you.

d e v a n said...

I bet she was just a procrastinator and now SHE's embarrassed. I wouldn't give it another thought. ((hug))

Not Your Aunt B said...

No more math! No more math! No more math! I am all about that. And I'm sure she just got forgetful about the rec and doesn't even think a thing about it (seeing as you had to remind her in the first place ;p ).