I Did It!

I sang with the choir leader today!!! In front of the second service! At a microphone!

It was HARD! The first verse was miserable, because I couldn't find my part at all, which is weird, since I'm a soprano. So, I whispered to Toby to ask him to sing harmony rather than his part (tenor), since he had offered, and once he did that, we were off and rolling! It was fun! Scary, too, but fun! I found out after we were done that the music director had one of the dampers on the organ, which was why I couldn't hear my part - 'he had damped it out'! At least it wasn't me, that's all I can say, because I was feeling pretty stupid to be having such a hard time.

There weren't many people there, probably about 50 or so, because the weather here is miserable on top of the time change (although, really, if you go to second service, you have no excuse as far as time change - no matter how you slice it, 11am is pretty late in the morning, even if it's really only 10 according to your body). This actually made it harder, in a way, because when there are that few people, they don't want to sing out there in the pews because then their neighbors can hear them pretty clearly, and that makes them shy too, so they were mumbling at best.

I hadn't told Toby that I was going to come back upstairs (everyone goes downstairs after 1st service for yummy snacks and drinks, and then to a class if they want), so he was all surprised and excited. He and I had walked in the processional together at the beginning of first service, and after we had finished he had come over to me and said that he could hear me clearly, and that he thought I was really good and that we should find a use for me (I was so embarrassed that I could barely even open my eyes.), and that the offer would always be open for me to sing with him, but that he wasn't going to pester me about it after this morning. He hugged me when I got there, and then proceeded to tell the choir director that after today, next time I would stay for more than just one song, and after that it would be a whole service, and then we would start singing special duets together during services. GULP. I told them that I would be happy to just make it through this first time without throwing up.

After we finished, he whispered that I'd done fine, and I tiptoed down the back stairs (which are conveniently located in a little room behind the choir loft), and went back to my class, still shaking. I hope he was happy with it, and that I didn't let him down. I'm glad he was so excited to have me there, but I know part of why he's so happy is because his own children, grown men now, are disappointments to him (one just had his children taken away by social services because he drinks and then abuses them), and he's maybe looking for someone to fill a void. Also, I think he has a little 'old man' crush on me. So, his hopes and expectations may not have been realistic, since they were based on a lot more than just my voice, I think. That would be the worst, if I'd let him down, because like he said - theoretically, no matter how badly I did, I was still better than what most of the rest of the room could do, since none of them sing - it's him and the choir director whose opinions that really matter to me.

But, still, I did it!!!! and I'm really excited!!!!