Thanks for the Extra White Hairs

I find as I get older, the number of things I'm afraid of has gotten smaller in some ways, but bigger in others.

For instance, I'm finally not afraid of the dark (which took longer than usual because of that damn Scream movie, which I can't even think about without feeling all squirmy inside). I'm not afraid to be alone at night when DH is on a trip, and our old house is creaking. I'm not afraid of spiders (although they're still GROSS). Things like that.

The things I *am* scared of, though, have gotten larger and much more specific. One of those things is that we'll have a Home Invasion. I'm not talking about a regular break-in, where someone takes your stuff and leaves; I'm talking about the kind our neighbors almost had, and that I hear about on the new sometimes - the kind where a group of men break into the house seemingly for the express purpose of hurting people. I don't know if this is some kind of gang thing, or what, but it seems that I hear about that kind of thing more and more lately.

I was actually laying in bed this morning after DH left for work at 6, thinking about this, when I heard a noise that wasn't the usual creaking of the pipes. It was a quite sound, one of those that you almost don't even really hear, but it was enough that Baci, sleeping next to me on the bed, lifted his head up, too. I had just decided that it was nothing when I heard a definite squeak of the back door opening downstairs. I sat up, and my heart started racing. No way, I thought. How can somebody be breaking in WHILE I'M WORRYING ABOUT SOMEONE BREAKING IN?! It flashed in my mind that DH had left about twenty minutes before, a similar circumstance as the attempted invasion across the street.

At the sound of a heavy footstep in the entryway, I sprang out of bed and flew to Josie's room, intending to pull her into Patrick's room and barricade the room shut with his bed. I grabbed the door, hearing what was obviously a man coming towards the stairs, and flung it open just as I heard, 'It's me - I forgot my wallet' from the landing.

I'm telling you, I almost collapsed. I shut Josie's door and grabbed onto the frame for dear life. All the adrenaline flooded out of me, and my whole body went cold. I had to get back onto the bed and sit down. I was too scared to even cry.

DH apologized up and down, saying he knew there would be no way to get in without scaring me, which isn't true because if he had SAID SOMETHING while he was downstairs everything would have been fine, but I couldn't even say that. Thank goodness he said something when he did, before I got to Josie and woke her up by telling her there was someone in the house. I was just so happy that no one was coming into our house, making their way straight to the upstairs, where the kids are, especially my daugher who is starting to look like a Girl, that I didn't even care. It took a good ten minutes for my heart to stop racing. Even writing this has me a little freaked out again.

You may have noticed that I didn't mention any barking, or growling, from the dogs. Those damn fools, who bark all day at people, dogs and birds going by the house, did not ONE THING? Baci didn't get up until I did, and even then stayed with me rather than running downstairs. Delilah didn't get up at all. A hundred and fifty pounds of teeth between them, and not one thing! And it wasn't that they knew it was him, either, because that would have had them up and running.

So, everything else seems really unimportant today. If I don't get a job when I graduate, if the IRS charges us an arm and a leg this year, whatever, I don't care. My babies got off to school safe and sound, and were none the wiser.