Stop the Ride, I Want To Get Off

A few days ago, my MIL called me while I was driving around town running six errands in my small two-hour window and asked if we were free on the 20th, which is the Sunday before Xmas. I said I thought we were, thinking she was scheduling the larger-family Xmas gathering, when she said, 'oh, I'm not going to tell you'. Suddenly, I was paying a LOT more attention, but it was too late. I had just Agreed To Something, and worse, I had no idea what, because she wouldn't say.

It turns out, she's planned a whole Girl's Day Out for my two SIL's, Josie, my oldest niece C, and herself. And, it's a Surprise.

Oh, no.

The good news is, it's apparently somewhere near us, which means one less time I have to drive all over creation.

The bad news is:
1. yet another day that I'm scheduled; I am now officially down to TWO days that I have no plans, classes or appointments until Xmas.
2. yet another day that our family will be going in all different directions. With karate, piano, school, my classes, me working, and the Xmas pageant which rehearses 3x weekly now, we are almost never all at home for any amount of time. I HATE that.
3. an entire outing with my SIL K. The one who sent me that awful hate mail this summer. The one who, along with her husband, makes me so nervous now that I feel half-ill even thinking about being trapped in a car and on some excursion with.
4. I feel seriously duped, although had I been paying more attention to what she was saying I might have caught that it wasn't a family thing, just a girl thing. I know she wasn't trying to fool me, and it was my own leap, but I'm still annoyed in general at thinking something is one thing, and it's another.
5. I HATE surprises. We have NOTHING in common. For all I know, we're going quilting, which she and K are really into. Even if it is something I would like on an ordinary day, see #1, 2 and 3. The last girl's outing we went on was to a tea house, because that's what she wanted as a gift. Yeah. A TEA HOUSE. Egad.

I love my MIL. She's a lovely person, and even though we have nothing in common, she's always been very kind to me. I will do whatever it is and smile because I have to. DH keeps telling me that I should email or call her and say that really, we're swamped, and are in desparate need of having time to do something with our own little family, but it's too late for that. She sent an itenerary of when she's going to be picking people up, which means that there's a schedule for a reason, and probably money has been spent. Besides, it would hurt her if I backed out. So, that's that. I tried to explain to my SIL J, who I love to pieces, why I wasn't thrilled, but she just said to relax. I don't think she can understand the severity of my stress level at being around her sister. I think it has something to do with how I lived until I was about 20 - never knowing when someone was going to snap and start screaming and/or throwing things at me. I was terrified so much of the time. That most recent hateful, massive email outburst from K and my BIL finished it off; I think they trigger the same panic-run response in me that my first family did. I will never, ever relax around them again.

Relax = my couch and my family and a movie or a game AT HOME, FOR ONCE.

Alas.