Thursday, July 9, 2009

Sissies Aren't Winners - But Maybe You Are!

My friends, I come to you now to admit something that you will not believe.

Patrick is a sissy.

And, when I say sissy, I mean giant pansy-ass whiner it.

I'll just give you a moment to process this little doo-dad of information.

You need evidence, you say? Fine. I present you with this:

- when we were walking the dogs at the canal, he tripped while we were in the water with them and got a scrape on his finger. I could barely see it. There was no blood, nothing that would even need a scab. No normal person would have cared. My boy, however, screamed like he was in LABOR for fifteen minutes as we walked back towards the car. I'm serious, people stared as they walked by us. The only reason he stopped at ALL was because I finally called back to him (Josie and I were about five yards ahead because I couldn't stand the screeching anymore without wanting to kill him), 'What would your friends think if they saw what you were doing right now?! Patrick Lastname, you are being a sissy, and I want you to stop it right now!' He buttoned up, and after I completely ignored him for about five minutes, he stopped and 'recovered'.

- just now, he came shrieking in from the backyard playset where he scraped his knee. There was maybe two small inch-long scrapes. Again, no bleeding. He screamed like he had had an amputation. I had to let DH deal with it because I couldn't without scolding him, which seemed futile. DH gave him a band-aid. What should have been a minute-long affair was fifteen minutes of drama.

FYI, when I say 'scream', I mean high-pitched, shrill, little-girl-sounding screaming. So high, it's a wonder the glasses in the house aren't broken. It's piercing and painful to be too close to.

I do not know what to do with this. He hates for people to see his emotions, like his karate instructor, when he's frustrated-teary. However, he FREAKS and doesn't care who knows it if he feels there's even the slightest injury to his person. I've explained to him that people aren't blood-balloons, he's not going to bleed to death. I've tried every soothing, calming trick in the book to get him to relax and just accept that life has some scrapes with it. Nothing has worked. He just keeps screaming, 'it hurts so much, I feel like I'm dying, it hurts so bad!!!' Affirming that he has some pain doesn't help. Telling him to man-up doesn't help. I am at a loss. I am NOT like this, and neither is Josie - both of us have gotten some pretty nasty injuries and just gotten up and kept walking.

This has to stop.

Have any of you have any similar experiences? Any suggestions, any at ALL, would be gratefully accepted. I feel bad ignoring any scrapes he has, plus it makes me look like as asshat, but that's the only thing that's worked so far. I want to make it better for him, but any attention at all makes it worse. HELP!


Now for the fun! The randomly-chosen winner of the bracelet is...... nowheymomma! Yay! Send me your addy and I'll send you your gifty! :)


Nowheymama said...

Holy cow! Thank you! I have a little bit of winner's guilt, though, since that was the first time I ever visited here.

I'll try to get over it. ;)

Marie Green said...

Sounds to me like he has an irrational fear, or even phobia, of injury. The thing to remember is that you cannot rationalize with someone who is having an irrational reaction. It simply doesn't work. I think teaching him some coping mechanisms may help- giving him certain things he can do, like 5 deep breaths, to help him. You can't explain this in the moment though. But discuss it ahead of time: "I've noticed when you get hurt you seem really scared and upset. Next time let's try to take 5 deep breaths together and get you bandaged up".

Or something. I have a phobia of dentists, so I understand. ;)

Anonymous said...

My good friend's son is the same way. I am never quite sure how to deal with his sissiness, but it makes me feel better to know he isn't the only one.

Susiewearsthepants said...

You know that I suffer the same problem with Keri. Everything "hurts really bad" She once wore an ace bandage and took crutches to school for one of her supposed injuries. I have been at my wits end for quite a while. I just try not to make a big deal about it, and hope that she will calm down. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I really try not to get sucked into her wimpy drama. I feel like feeding it will only make it worse.
A Fellow Member Of The My Wimpy Kid Club.

creative kerfuffle said...

hmmm, i have no good advice on this one. but, as always, i love how honest you are about stuff like this.

Stimey said...

Sam is like this. If he gets hurt at all he makes such a huge deal out of it that I don't feel bad for him anymore, and I just get annoyed. Honestly, I think it has to do with being a firstborn. I've had several talks with him saying just what I said above. Now if he gets hurt and is not a huge drama queen about it, I give him all kinds of attention and love and gush all over him. If he does throw a hissy fit, I give him the least amount of attention possible. And remind him that the more of a fit he throws, the less sympathetic I am. I think it's starting to work. Fingers crossed, because it drives me NUTS!

Swistle said...

Ha ha ha! Screamed like he was in labor! Ha ha ha.

Sue @ My Party of 6 said...

Oh I have one just like him (as you know)! Makes it so hard to tell when they are ACTUALLY hurt!