Ohm.

Recently I posted about my husband's sister, Kathy, who at 45 is pregnant with twins. She's OK now, as far as I know, but she had a big scare last weekend. She had been lightly spotting for awhile, but last Sunday she started *bleeding*, so much so that she was transported to the hospital via ambulance (her husband is an EMT, so he pulled some strings). Even more unfortunately, it happened during my neice's 18th b-day party, which has doubled as a rememberance ceremony for her twin brother for the past two birthdays, so the poor girl was dealing with the loss of her brother, the potential loss of her unborn siblings, and worrying about her mother's health. I wasn't there, because I felt that it was too soon for me to go after my hospital stay (they live about 45 min away, and the party as usual was going to be at their gazebo at the pond on their property, where there's no running water, nowhere to escape the heat, and never enough places to sit), but my other SIL said that my neice handled it very well and continued swimming and hanging out with her friends without saying anything about it until the call finally came a few hours later that they had finally found both heartbeats and everything was OK, at which point she said 'OK, now I can breathe', and went about her way. Good grief. My MIL, needless to say, was and still is in a complete twist.

One of my friends said that this would make her want to just look away until the entire pregnancy is over, and basically that's what I'm doing. I don't think I could stand to lose another child in this family, never mind two more, even if I hadn't met them, unless I didn't just not think about them almost entirely until they actually arrive. When I *do* think about it, increasingly I'm upset that my neice is going through all this when she's been through so much already, and I worry about my in-laws, especially my MIL, who I think would never recover if the worst happened. So I'm not thinking about it. Officially.