Me Suckee Long Time... You No Notice?!!?

Today, I vacuumed the entire house. It took me over an hour, because I had to pick up a ton of crap, and I had to vacuum inside the couch cushions because the house was starting to have that 'dog central' smell. After vacuuming, I sprayed the whole place with Febreeze and leave-in carpet foam. Since we have four entire finished stories, it's a pretty tiring and backbreaking job. I only do it once a week, really, and I usually wash the floors on the main level at the same time, because they get really dirty with the kids and dogs constantly trooping in and out, and if I don't do it at the same time I vacuum, I'll just be making wet gobs of greasy grimy doggy fur. Yum!

I did a lot of other things today, but those were my two crowning achievements.

Did anyone notice that the house smelled more fresh and less foul? I ask you, did anyone comment?!

Take a wild guess.

In fact, at the dinner table, where I finally pointed this out, DH said, 'yeah, that's not the kind of thing you notice, really, except to walk into a room and think it looks nice.' First, thanks a LOT, and second, um, isn't the very fact that you think the room looks nice, and not like an F5 hit it, by definition, Noticing?

My friend Megan and I were talking about women's brains today, and how she had asked her husband what he thought about when he mowed the lawn, expecting a list of things, since she (and every other woman I know) would be thinking about fifteen other things at the same time. What did he say? 'I think about mowing the grass.' So, maybe it's just that men aren't capable of having more than one thought. For instance, DH can't get past Point A, thinking that the room looks nice, to reach Point B, which is that I spent my entire effing day cleaning it?

That having been said, it does look very nice, thank you. I have staved off the tumblepups for yet another week.

Dear Perfume Lady,

I wanted to write a quick note of thanks to you for permanently fusing my nasal hairs together with your amazing application of scent (if I may be so bold as to stretchingly call it that). Because of you, I will no longer have to do that annoying breathing-through-my-nose thing. This will save me lot of money in Kleenex, what with the upcoming cold and flu season and all.

However, I also wanted to let you know that since your nose must be cemented shut as well from all the olefactory design you have going on over there, that your perfume is slightly strong, as the birds falling from the sky when I went behind you to the parking lot seemed to indicate. Perhaps a gallon of your fabulous Jeanne Nate, or Anais Anais, or whatever it was, is a smidge too much?

In addition, I must confess, I find your choice of perfume-venue to be questionable. Is it really necessary to apply perfume for a trip to the grocery store? Really, at such a place, you only run into a few people, over and over again, rather than the many thousands at the world's fair that your sizeable application would suggest you were headed for? Just a thought. Are you trying to attract? Kill bugs? Send messages into space?

Perhaps it's not your fault. Perhaps, like me, you were assaulted by a fellow shopper's odiferousness, and your nose was irrevocably harmed. Perhaps you have such atrocious BO that you have given up washing and instead pour perfume over your head from a jug?

Anyway, I would like you to know that if we should ever run into each other again, do not be surprised if I don't speak. I will be holding my breath to avoid tasting your perfume for the next hour.

Sincerely,
Newly Nearly Noseless

Aw, Shucks... It's Really, Really Not Hard

(Hmm, that sounds like I'm having a viagra-related problem. Have you ever noticed that the viagra commercials are going to be for this generation what the life alert commercials were for us? And that they're BOTH about old people not being able to get up?! although in different ways, I suppose.)

ANYWAY, thank you, thank you very much.... as I was starting to say before I was so rudely interrupted by my own perverse mind...the couponing thing is really, really easy. Seriously. I don't work *that* hard at it. All I do is get two Sunday papers - my local one and the Washington Post - because even though they're both technically 'area' papers here, the coupons are different for some reason (except special coupon sections, like P&G brand inserts, which are the same everywhere, I assume). I actually like that, though, because sometimes having identical coupons is a good thing, like if your coupon is $1 off of one box of detergent, and then the store has it on sale as well, you get basically double off. This is my favorite thing. Since I've been cutting for awhile, too, I'm getting to the point where I basically have coupons for most things I need, all the time, and I don't know if it's accidentally or on purpose, but our local store tends to have things on sale that are also having coupons in the paper. I read somewhere that almost all sales are season-based, so that would kind of make sense.

Some people will say to only cut coupons for what you know you will use, but frankly I cut everything unless I know I *won't* use it. I mean, if I have a coupon, and it's on sale, I'm willing to give anything a try at least once. Plus, there are a lot of times where I like several brands, like dog treats, shampoo, lotions, etc., so I'm bound to have a coupon for *something* in those areas whenever I go because I just cut them all out, and then I wait until I get to the store to see which one is on sale and get that one, so I can double-dip on savings. Add to this having my coupons doubled by the store, and it's really a triple-savings!

An important fact about coupons is that online coupons are generally better than the ones that come in the paper. Coupons.com is my favorite site, and their coupons are reliably at least $.10 better than the other kind. I just select the ones I want to print, and out they come. The store doesn't bat an eye when I use them, either.

One trick at our store is that they only give gas points for certain dollar amounts spent, like I have to spend $50 to get $.20 off per gallon, $100 to get $.40, etc. Unfortunatly, that promotion is going to end soon, so the gas rewards will be half of what they are now. There's another store in town that lets you accumulate gas points for every dollar you spend, but that means you can only get up to $.10 per $100 spent. That system works better if you are a 'drib-drab' shopper, but since I do big loads every other week with one or maybe two smaller trips midway through for milk and produce, having to spend the larger amount works for me. If I find that I'm close to the $50 mark, like above $40, I'll throw in something else, like another box of cereal or pack of tp or whatever, to make up the difference. These days, though, it's not exactly hard to get to the $50 mark, so it's not usually a problem.

Today, I did a big thing for myself. Until now, I've been using a regular coupon holder, one of those accordian things with 12 pockets. However, I've been reading on some other people's blogs, like commonsensewithmoney and moneysavingmom (I highly recommend that you subscribe to their blogs, as they post several times a day with freebies from many-varied companies that are great, like free food, makeup, etc), that people are doing all kinds of interesting things to contain their coupons. I knew I didn't really want to carry around a recipe box, and the accordian holder really wasn't cutting it because I need somewhere to put store coupons, like Target, where they can be in a place by themselves rather than integrated with regular coupons where I forget about them when I go to the certain store, so today I bought a pretty 3-ring binder, three packs of photo-holder inserts that have two 4x6 pockets on each page, and a package of colorful self-adhering plastic labels. It came out like this:




Now, I can have as many pockets as I want, replace ones that get worn out, AND see what and where they are right away! I'm a total dork, but I'm thrilled with this! I made all the usual pockets, but used the extra space to make individual pockets for yogurt coupons (there are always at least two every week, so they pile up), and I split out cleaning supplies into household and detergents, as well as toiletries into hair products, face products, lotions, and medications. Also, there will be no more trying to squeeze random things into other things' pockets; where to put toilet paper? Was that a cleaning product or a toiletry? Where to put instant veggies, and boxed meals? Were they veggies, meats, or frozen foods? I never could decide, and thus put them in a different pocket every time I cut them out, which was a mess. Problem solved! Frozen foods are in one place, meal 'helpers', such as Wanchai Ferry mixes, in another, and paper products are in a place all their own! HA!

I am hoping that this organization will cut down somewhat on the amount of time I spend at the store. At the moment, it takes me a solid two hours to shop. However, I could cut that time down by getting out the flier, organizing before I go, etc, but usually I don't like to do that. I just paw through what I've got, pull out what I *know* I'll need (I put them in a clip, and tucked them into the front of my accordian, but now I'll just put them in the binder's front pocket) and head off. A good amount of time has been spent in the past pawing through the accordian for coupons for something I've found at the store that I forgot I wanted, or didn't originally want but is now on sale and will keep so I should use the coupon, too but where is it?! That problem should be gone, at least.

So, I will look like a dork at the store with my pretty binder, but I don't care. Not to mention, now that I have a larger binder, I don't have to worry about it getting buried under things or falling through the the leg holes. Besides, when the store manager, who has to come over whenever you shop because you need so many overrides for coupons, tells you that you've done a great job, it's worth it! Crazy? I think not! Bwa haa haa haaaaaa!

Grocery Roundup

It's that time you've all been waiting for; The MS's Bi-Weekly Grocery Roundup!

This was close to my best week ever, savings-wise.

This week I:

- used a whopping thirty-six coupons, three of which were for buy-one-get-one-free things (two were for Febreeze at $4.65 each, so I got four bottles of the stuff for the price of two, plus it was on sale, and one was for St. Ives Elements, which was $6.99, so I got a warming face scrub, which is my favorite product by FAR because it makes my skin look amazingly fresh and less wrinkly, I swear, and a new one I haven't tried yet, microderm abrasian scrub, for free)

- bought 113 things

- saved $54.94 in manufacturer's coupons

- saved $3.80 in bonus coupons (these are the store-printed coupons)

- saved $122.25 using the club card/buying things on sale

- redeemed my 20%-off-entire-purchase coupon that I earned with the Purchase Points Bonus program

- earned another 10% off another trip

- earned another $1.40 off each gallon of gas next time I go to their pump (I just had to fill up the other day before going on Josie's field trip, so I had to use my other $1.80 I earned, but I still only paid $27 to fill up the minivan, not too shabby)

The end result of all this was that I saved $180.99, which was FORTY SEVEN PERCENT of my bill!!!! My final bill was $204.91, meaning that on average, I paid less than two dollars for every individual thing in my cart. Woohoo!!!

Since my last trip was so meat-heavy because they were having that fill-a-brown-bag sale, I still have lots of it left over, meaning this trip focused on snacks, dry goods, dog treats, and household cleaners. Since I had several about-to-expire coupons, I bought more dog stuff in particular than I needed, but all of it was also on sale, and it keeps forever. I like to alternate trips that way, buying meats one time and dry goods another, so I never have to get two expensive categories at once, but sometimes that works out and sometimes it doesn't.

Da Bears

This has been a week of volunteering in the school. On Monday, I spent the morning in Patrick's classroom, hangin' with his peeps. After doing some copying, etc, I got to sit in the back of the room and take children individually to play a rhyming game where I presented the kids with 24 puzzle pieces that had pictures on them; the pieces could be arranged into six little circles based on their rhyming sound. It was fun to meet all his little friends and to see the Wild Boy in his Natural Environment. I got to play the game with Patrick, of course, and several of his friends. It was great.

One of the tasks his teacher had put on the list that I *didn't* get to was coloring in a huge stack of papers and cutting the pictures on them out. It was a stack that I had copied earlier in the day: 45 copies of a 2-page set of numbered bears, six bears to a page. So, like a happy parent drunk on being in the classroom, I said that I would be happy to bring them home and do them there. Thank heavens they don't need to be brought back until mid-October, because when you do the math, six bears on a page, times two pages in a set, times forty-five sets, equals FIVE HUNDRED AND FORTY BEARS to be colored and cut out. That's a freakin' lot of bears, people!!! Josie, who loves this kind of thing, has been sitting with me in the evenings, coloring away, making tie-dyed bears, bears with clothing, bears with swirls, etc. I'm assuming that this is a math project for the entire K, since there are three classes with 15 kids apiece. Phew. I figure as long as we do about four sets a day, we'll be done in plenty of time.

Then, yesterday, I went with Josie's fouth grade (there are only two classes in each grade other than K) on a field trip to the C&O Canal. Thankfully, there were three separate things to do there: there's a great seven-station setup in the museum there of hands-on bridge building, dress-up and pulley-systems, among other things, a trek down the trail one way to see the Lock system and the old Lockmaster's house (we actually got to open and close an old-fashioned lock!), and then, after lunch, a trip across the top of a ruined aquaduct. Also thankfully, the two classes were split up, with each going to a different station, because 25 kids is MORE than enough to keep track of near water! Holy cow, are fourth graders hyper!!!!! I think when Patrick reaches that age, I will have to carry a pouch filled with tranquelizer darts and one of those pole things to blow it through, so I won't have to get too close and risk bodily harm. Many children in the class were so hyper and excited and, let's face it, a little bored by some of the information, that they talked too much and tended to run, etc, so much so that when they got back to the school for the final hour of the day the teacher REAMED them out and made them all write letters of apology to the National Park Service guide (who, I have to say, was a very, very tolerant and nice man who obviously had lots of experience with field trips). Josie, I am proud to say, was not at all hyper, and seemed thrilled to have me along. She actually held my hand several times, which was sweet and I know will probably be fading soon.

Despite my being totally exhausted from the kids and the temperature, which was surprisingly high yesterday, I was so glad I went. This was the first time I was able to go on a trip with Josie, because Patrick was always too little and couldn't be taken along, and also I was able to assuage my fears about her new behaviors. She does indeed have several friends in her class, and not only does she like them, but they seek her out, as well. It was such a relief! I also asked her teacher how well she seemed to be transitioning, and while we could only talk for a minute, she said that she seems to be very happy, and is doing well, and that Josie's old teacher at her previous school had talked to her about Josie's being in pull-out enrichment classes, which is why she's being pulled out already (apparently there's been some kind of computer glitch and the testing data for the kids in her class was wiped out, so they'll have to retest everyone else). Hooray! So, now I can stop worrying about that. Also, Josie finally mentioned the other day that she'd like to have one of her friends over, so the preference for being alone seems to have almost run its course.

Bad Dog: A Photo Essay, by Baci

Hi, I'm Baci.

I don't like being left alone. I especially hate it when Mommy takes the Hairless Puppies to their yard to play baseball without me. I can hear them, and sometimes see them, but I can't get to them because Mommy put a collar on me that goes BEEPZzzzzzz when I jump over the fence of my doggy yard. So, I bark at them and cry so the whole neighborhood knows that I have been Abandoned. I wait to be rescued. When that doesn't happen, I look for Things To Do.


Yesterday, there weren't any crumbs under here, so I went searching for Real Food. After all, if I'm Abandoned, I will have to feed myself. I found This in Patrick's backpack:


It was good!


I got all the Good Stuff out! When I finished, I heard Mommy coming.


I went and got my new lunchbox to show her how much I ate!


She said Bad Dog.


Darn it, I knew I should have just eaten the whole thing.
The End.

Soccer Follies

The past few days have been fun (and funny!).

Yesterday was DH's birthday. I gave him his presents the night before, since we were going to be really busy; he got some Family Guy stuff, a new inexpensive watch, and an 8G iPod Touch. Yes, I rule, etc, etc, I know. I thought DH was going to fall off the couch when he pulled THAT one out of the bag! He's been trying to save up for one, but I figured I'd just go ahead and get it. That way, he can use his gc's for all the various paraphanalia that goes along with, plus I'll know what kind of things to get him for Xmas. Besides, he got me a Ring for our 10th anniversary awhile back, and I got him... an archaeology book. Ahem. So, now I feel more evened up.

His actual birthday was spend shuttling to church in the morning, and then to two soccer games, and THEN to dinner with his parents. I have to say, I totally lucked out in the IL department. I may have nothing in common with them, really, but they're so nice, and they honestly love us all. You can't ask for much more than that. I feel especially lucky now that I've been reading about some of the horror shows that some of you out there are dealing with!!

My favorite part, by far, though, was Patrick's soccer game. Josie had one, too, and while I enjoyed it for its fast-paced action, his are just SOOOOO much more amusing!!! There's nothing like watching ten little kids glob around the field trying to kick the same ball. One boy, on the opposing team, didn't seem to grasp the idea that he had a particular goal, so he very aggressively kicked it towards whatever goal he happened to be near. He scored on himself at least once (although they don't count it when that happens, which is good). Three kids got hit in the head during side throw-ins. Patrick got kicked in the finger when he was playing goalie (all the kids were fine). Several kids lost their shoes on-field. One boy trotted off to go pat a dog while he was playing goalie. Patrick decided to leave the field for a drink when he was supposed to be playing center forward. One little sibling kept breaking onto the field to try and play, too. Extra balls from other games rolled in a few times. Meanwhile, all the kids on the field globbed up around the ball like they were velcroed to it, and all I could think of was when you see a catfight in a cartoon, where all you can see is a cloud of dust and flailing hands and feet! It was SO FUNNY! I love watching his games! Also, thankfully, both kids are finally on good teams this year, and while Josie's lost, it was only by one point, and Patrick's team is undefeated so far (he's had two games, she's had one). It will be a relief if we don't have to console anyone after a double-digit loss for awhile.

Unfortunately, poor DH has to work late for the next few days, so the kids and I are basically on our own until Wednesday evening. This will probably be unpopular, particularly since Patrick announced yesterday that he 'basically prefers Daddy'. Punk.